No, really. What started as a trip to Walmart to buy some icecream and a lunch box for my daughter’s birthday that I knew was on clearance for $4.50, became a seventy two dollar trip. How does this happen? I’ll tell you how. I was alone. That’s right, I didn’t have my children there to make the Walmart trip such a pain that all I want to do is get out of there. See, I read articles (no, I have no articles to link to. sue me.) that say in order to save money, you should leave your children at home — that way you can focus on your list and your coupons and getting the best deal. To them I say — HOGWASH! When you stroll into that Walmart/Kroger/Ingles/Target – whatever- and you do not have to worry about your children asking for the fun buggy, or making sure they have their little coats and hoods on, or making sure they are staying close to you so they don’t get run over by a car or get lost, and then… you get to walk around that Walmart and look at whatever the hell you want for as long as you want. That, my friends, is Mommy freedom. No worrying about what is getting put in or what is getting thrown out of your buggy. No worrying about fighting siblings or someone all of the sudden having to pee. No, no, no. You are free to roam the picture frame & candles section in peace. Look at all the neat kitchen gadgets. Who knew Walmart was the place to get workout clothes? Go ahead and check out the Christmas clearance aisle. Because you know the only time you get to break out is after those little angels go to bed and by that time, Walmart is surpisingly chill. No more silly black friday shoppers, just aisle upon aisle of junk for you to explore – in peace. Well, for the most part. I mean, it is Walmart. You might run into a weirdo or two, but you can always find a way to get away from them.
So, there you have it. I went into Walmart for icecream. I came out with yogurt, a shirt, Hooter’s sauce, butter, iron on patches for Bryson’s uniform pants, craft glue, lots of candy and two kinds of icecream, among other things. And you know the best part? When I got home, my sweet little babies were snoozing away. One, two, three. Just like that. Their precious little faces snug in their beds while Mommy gets to reflect on the wonderful world of Walmart freedom.