Wow. Lately, I’ve been feeling behind the eightball too much of the time. I go to bed worrying about all the things I need to do and wake up wondering if I’ll get anything checked off that ever growing to-do list. Don’t laugh, I need that to-do list. Without it, I’m completely frozen. With it, I try to get on task, the problem is when I’m derailed and CANNOT complete the given task. I’m stuck, I can’t seem to figure out how to move on to something else quickly and get something-anything– done.
For instance, our pantry is a repeating annoyance. There are no hardware (knobs or pulls) and the children can access it (and it’s contents) at their leisure. They get in the pantry and laugh and scream and throw everything out and snack on all kinds of things they don’t need to be snacking on. Then they fight over who got what and inevitably, someone’s fingers get smashed in the melee. That pantry has been a thorn in our sides for a long time. I decided to add “put knobs on pantry” to the to-do list. Of course the knobs are the precursor to adding a childlock/deterrent. So I guess it’s a two-in-one item. The first step was to purchase suitable knobs or pulls. I finally did that one afternoon when I only had one of the children tagging along with me at Target and somehow the thought managed to cross my mind while I was still in the store to buy the damn things. Next step was to install them on the pantry door. All of this takes time. I have to prepare my tools, I have get the little kids occupied so they don’t mess with the screws or the hammer or the screwdriver or ruler, etc. It’s harder than it sounds because when you are trying to get them situated, there are always little detours that become time sucks. Potties, diaper changes, boo-boo kissing, breaking up fights, getting someone a drink, making sure they wash their hands, another boo-boo… Finally ready to measure, then ready to drill the holes. Get two done and then I broke the damn drill. Now I’m stuck. I can’t fix the drill. All the tools are out. There is something wrong with my brain and I can’t move past this chore. I don’t know why! Just let it go and come back to it later. No, no, no. My brain just won’t let me do anything and I’m paralyzed. Until one of the children comes in, then I move on to whatever they need. Finishing projects isn’t the only thing I need to work on. Oh, no. There’s plenty more. I could make a list, but I’d probably get hung up on… oh, nevermind.
Another thing I’m TERRIBLE about is RSVP-ing. We get invitations to birthday parties frequently since Natalie Kate and Lane are in a semi-day-care environment and Bryson is in school. I hate talking on the phone, and it’s even worse calling someone you don’t know to let them know you can’t make it to their child’s birthday party for whatever has or will come up. So the RSVPs remain on my to-do list until there is no point in being polite and just end up throwing the invitation away because it just stares at me, mocking me, reminding me what an impolite buffoon I really am and how I’m probably deterring my children’s social life in the future in some way shape or form. Get out of my head! Why can’t I just use my mental telepathy and they will know WE CAN’T COME BECAUSE I CAN’T GET MY SHIT TOGETHER. So there.
My horrendously cluttered and unorganized mess of a closet is another thorn in my side. I am trying to set a timer and work on it for 15 minutes or whatever and then move on to something else, but I.just.can’t. I’m a completer. I need to check the item of the list and it throws me in a tailspin when I don’t or can’t because child one, two or three needs something, needs me, or I get distracted by the papers I’m cleaning out of purses that have been buried at the bottom of my purse heap. Or I suffocate on all the Target/Grocery bags I hoard to use as trash bags! AGGHHHH.
As a Mom, you need to be a multi-tasker. You also need to know when to let it go and start something else. I know that, but I can’t seem to “get it”. I was a terrible waitress for this very reason, I needed to take care of one table at a time or I got all stressed out. Now I’m a Mom, a Wife, a Daughter, a friend and a co-worker just to name a few and I’ve got all these ideas and things I need to do, but I can’t seem to get past the clutter.
So, my new to-do list:
Get up earlier
Stop and hug & kiss my children and husband when they are not expecting it at least twice a day
Stop worrying about the mess
Feed the kids
Yeah, I think that covers what’s really important.
And I’m already worrying about the closet again.